What woke me up
by July 28th
Summary: Pony wakes up in the hospital from a coma to find everything he remembered since he got jumped is a dream. He struggles to find which way is up while Johnny is hoarding a secret about that night.
1. Prologue

What woke me up…

Prologue

Pony wakes up in the hospital from a coma to find everything he remembered since he got jumped is a dream. He struggles to find which way is up while Johnny is hoarding a secret about that night.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the outsiders characters or the segments of the book that appear in this fic.

A/N: Here is a prologue. The coma idea I got from someone's old fic, but they never updated so I took it and now put a July 28th twist on it! This fic won't be too long, ten-twenty chapters, I'd imagine.

The park was freezing, I was wondering how Ponyboy could stand it. He was only wearing an old sweat shirt of Sodapop's.

I snapped up my jacket and flipped up my collar.

"Ain't you about to freeze to death, Pony?"

He was rubbing his arms while smoking his weed.

"You ain't a'woofin." He replied.

I glanced around the park making sure we were alone. It musta been real early in the morning now, and it was cold. I didn't imagine we'd be stayin' here long. Ponyboy was about to say something but there was a loud blast of the horn and I flinched against my will.

Not now, not here. We looked up and saw the blue Mustang circling the park. I cursed under my breath and Pony muttered, "What do they want? This is our territory. What are Socs doing this far east?"

I knew exactly what they were doing, greaser hunting. I wished ol' Two-Bit or Dally were with us, then we'd stand a chance. I shook my head.

"I don't know. But I bet they're looking for us. We picked up their girls."

"Oh, glory," He groaned. "this is all I need to top off a perfect night. Want to run for it?"

That would have been our best bet, but it was too late now. Five Socs got out of the car and I recognized them. It was them again, the ones that beat me up. I paled and reached in my back pocket for my switchblade. They wouldn't beat me up like that, never again. I wouldn't let 'em.

They were drunk. We exchanged a few threatening words, but I knew they weren't leaving without beating us up. I knew it. After a few minutes Pony spat at them and they went to grab us. I barely slipped out of one of their grasps but still went tumbling to the ground. One of them kicked me in the chest, hard. I heard Ponyboy yelling at me to run, but I couldn't see him, Socs were crowding around him. It took me a moment to realize they were dunking him in the fountain. They held him there for almost a minute before draggin' him back up, spitting on him, and cussing. A few dumped their alcohol on him and he was only gasping for air. They were going to kill him.

My switch.

I reached for my back pocket but suddenly I was kicked again. One of the Socs stood above me, the only one of the five that weren't beating on Ponyboy.

"Got a blade there grease?" His words were slurred and spaced out.

He didn't give me a chance to answer because he stepped on my chest so hard it knocked the wind out of me.

The Soc flipped me around and took my switch.

"I'm thinkin' we could use this."

I made a grab for it but he just laughed at my attempt. I glanced over at Ponyboy afraid they killed him by now. They had pulled him out though, three of them were holding him up while Bob punched him mercilessly. Pony wasn't groaning or cussing at them anymore. He looked real dazed, and even in the dark I could see the blood and new forming bruise on his cheek.

"Pony!" I yelled out even though it wasn't doing any good. They were gonna beat me up, I knew they would.

I attempted to get up but my chest was really hurting and I only managed to get up to my knees. The guy that took my switch blade had walked back over to Pony and them. I froze in place. I couldn't see much but they let go of Pony and he dropped to the ground.

Whatever they were planning to do didn't work 'cause one of them stood up and kicked him. My switch was in his hand, it was smeared with blood. I felt sick, but I couldn't help him.

"East side trash." He hissed and he hauled Pony to his feet by his shirt. "How ya like pickin' up our girls now huh!"

He threw Pony back in the fountain. I stood on my feet. I couldn't stop them, I had to get someone. I had to call someone.

They dunked Pony in again, but this time he slowly stopped struggling.

-

I sat in the cream colored hospital staring at the ground. When I first started coming here after school(if I even went to school) everyone always asked me what was wrong, but it has been months. Everyone knew my face by now.

Ponyboy didn't deserve this. Maybe I did, but not Pony. I still remember the night it happened. Exactly how it happened.

But when everyone asked,

I had to lie…

"It was too dark, and after they hit me I was too dazed. I dunno…"

0-0-0

This is what happens when I get bored. Anyway, Pony isn't dead! The gaps will be filled in later. Sorry about the grammar errors too, I know.

Anyone know what a'woofin' means?

Want me to continue? Or no? Any good? Potential? Or just strange?


	2. As pale as the sheets

What woke me up…

Chapter 1: As pale as the sheets

A/N: Just for info peeps, no slash. Anyway, the stuff about that night will be in flashbacks and stuff.

If anyone really cares, which you don't have to, here are some realistic notes:

Talking facts: Okay, so not everything in this story is _that_ realistic. I'm no coma intellect myself but theoretically a coma usually only lasts for 2-4 weeks. For six month Pony he'd _probably_ only be there if he was in a persistent vegetable state or severely brain damaged. I don't want to go there so I'm going to wing it because there are always exceptions in science! If you guys really want to know my theory, here it is. Pony was on the boarder line of consciousness but his body has went into an unspecified standby until his wounds heal, which at this rate aren't feeling that fast—i.e. six months. The only severe brain damage he sustained if you will was a concussion which would also effectively also turn his body off into standby. Either way, to wake up from such a thing he would need stimulus. You probably don't even need to know any of that.

The reason Ponyboy talks in this scene is not only to add to the drama it just goes along with the thing about brain damage, and the talking suggests that he doesn't have any. Stuff like concussions though, one can chat right through.

0-0-0

After maybe half an hour of waiting the doctor came up.

"I'm here about Ponyboy Curtis." I said even though he must have already known.

I visited him almost more than his brothers did—they couldn't stand seeing him this way. I remembered when I had to tell them…that night.

"No change." The doctor said glancing at his clip board just to humor me. He gave me that look I've been getting from everyone in this hospital.

After he was brought in it was this same doctor that told me there was a slim chance of him ever waking up. But there was a chance, I owed it to him…I could have helped him that night. I really could have but I was too afraid and now my best friend was in a coma holding on to life. If only they didn't dump him in the fountain he'd have been fine… Well, just beaten up like me but anything was better than this.

"Can I see him?" I asked and the doctor just nodded while passing me.

I walked down to his room, no one stopped me and I knew the way by heart. I felt real guilty 'bout what happened to him, so much I couldn't think about it anymore without wantin' to kill myself or somethin'.

Ponyboy was unconscious on the bed same as always. It has been months, but the bruises on his arms, ribs, and face are still visible. The doctor said that when he went into a coma the body automatically went into standby to sustain life while gradually healing his injuries. He had one black eye and a few cuts on his cheeks that stood out more than anything else.

There was a bunch of machines hooked up to him, I wasn't even sure what half of them were.

He looked like he was sleepin' but his breathing was shallow. I sat down at a chair next to his bed and stared at the ground for a minute.

Everyone wanted to get the guys back for this, but I couldn't tell 'em. It's not that I didn't want to get even. It was...what the Socs said would happen if I told. I believed 'em too!

I peered over at Pony and knew everything they said was completely enforceable. So I lied to the gang about how it all happened.

The only person I'd ever confess to is Pony, and he wouldn't even wake up.

I didn't bother trying to talk to him, I knew he couldn't hear me. Soda had tried to talk to him before, when it first happened. He was a little hysterical- aw more than just that.

That night it happened, after Pony stopped moving I'd run into the road and nearly got hit by a car driven by old Tim Shepard. He only stopped to cuss me out but I barely made out a plea for help with the word "Socs" in it, and "seriously hurt". Tim was all in for a jumping but by the time we got there there was no one there…but Pony.

He looked dead, he really did. It wasn't just the bruises, but he was bleeding where the blade musta slipped. Tim didn't care much for us but even he said we couldn't move him so he went off to call an ambulance and get Darry and Soda. I did my best to warm Ponyboy up, his lips were tinted blue and I wasn't even sure if he was still breathing.

"Pony," I shook him lightly after awhile. I needed to hear him respond, I needed to to know if he was still with us.

Ponyboy did reply eventually, but that was about the last time anyone heard his voice for months on end.

Soda and Darry had arrived after what seemed like hours. I was still trying to get Ponyboy to talk. When Soda arrived he immediately fell to his knees and came to Pony's side. Darry stood in the background shocked I guess. If I felt guilty, Darry must have felt something real bad. Soda scooped Ponyboy up and held him like he did for me that day in the lot and rocked him begging him to wake up.

"Come on Ponyboy, you can't die on us or nothin', wake up now." He would have probably cried if the situation had sunk in more so.

"Sodapop?" Ponyboy's voice was real weak I had to guess on what he said. He was bleeding inside his mouth—the Socs must have knocked a tooth loose or cut up his lip.

A small hate was unraveling in me for the Socs no matter how much they'd scared me. I set my teeth doing my best to focus on the situation at hand.

"Yeah, honey, are you all right?" Soda took on a tone I'd never heard before.

Ponyboy leaned back into him, and I wanted to beg him not to go to sleep again. Darry had set down next to me muttering something about an ambulance coming.

"I hurt something awful Soda." He did half a laugh but got cut off by a cough.

Soda kissed his forehead and muttered that he'd be fine, they'd get him help.

"It's really cold too. Freezing." Pony said never once opening his eyes.

He lost consciousness again seconds before the ambulance arrived. That was the last thing I ever heard him say. Only Darry was allowed on the ambulance with him so Sodapop and I got a ride with Steve. Sodapop was quiet, he was scared for Pony—I mean we all were but he was really.

When we arrived and Pony had gone into a coma Soda just broke down and cried. I've never seen Soda cry. Steve went off to call Dally and Two-Bit, and I just sat there staring at the ground pretending like I wasn't there like I always do.

The doctor told us that Ponyboy went into a coma, that they weren't even sure he'd make it through the night. He said a bunch of medical stuff about underlying brain activity I didn't understand but he also told us that they wouldn't be able to determine if there was any severe brain damage until after he woke up. Soda and Darry stayed with him for awhile but he wasn't showing any signs of improving, but not getting' worse either.

It was a real hard time, and Soda lost that girl he liked and all and quit going to work and wouldn't leave Pony's side. That is why I come after school, just so Soda doesn't worry.

Plus, I guess I owe it to him.

I glanced at Ponyboy. He looked as pale as the sheets. I expected today to be just like the others, but I was wrong. Today, after six months of this, Ponyboy would wake up.

0-0-0

Random, and short. Just a quick write up. By the way, thanks for the people that old me what a'woofin means. Everytime I read that I've always wondered.

0-0-0


	3. “Johnny Cade is dead!”

What woke me up…

Chapter 2: "Johnny Cade is dead!"

A/N: This is a disclaimer for the whole story since I forgot it eariler.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Outsiders characters.

0-0-0 Pony's Pov

Everything was fuzzy, real fuzzy. I felt like I couldn't move a muscle and I wanted to roll over and wake up Soda—I felt real awful.

Then I heard people talking, but as if they were a mile away. I recognized one of the voices though. It was Johnny, but it couldn't have been Johnny—unless I was dead? I moved my hand as if to reach out next to me but a sudden shock wave of –pain? or feeling? shot through my arm.

I was asleep wasn't I? I made to open my eyes but what usually takes a second went gradually. It was real bright outside and I wanted to cover my eyes, my arm moved but it was really stiff.

I heard a sharp gasp next to me and shifting to my other side. Where was I?

"I swear, these coma patients always look like the dead waking. Sweetheart, do me a favor and go get the doctor." It was a woman, I never heard her voice before. "And close the blinds on your way out."

There was a lot of shuffling and suddenly the blinding light was gone from the room and I could open my eyes all the way. I first saw a white roof and then a brunette nurse standing at my bedside.

Where was I? Where was Soda?

"Don't move, and don't get excited. Calm down. The doctor will be here soon."

Soon, was now because a minute later a man walked up to my other side. He hesitated before shinning a light in my eyes and I flinched.

"Do you remember what happened?"

I made to say no but my voice was weak and rough.

"Get him some water, now Mr. Curtis, I will explain some things to you but do not jump to defend anything you think happened. You were in a fight, and knocked into a bit of a borderline a coma. That would be six months ago."

A coma? The last thing I remember was going to sleep after I wrote that composition for class. When did this happen? I wanted Soda, or Darry. I didn't want to be a hospital, Darry'd get me out.

The nurse half forced the water down my throat but it felt cool and refreshing, only slightly painful since my throat felt sore.

"Now, Mr. Curtis, we are going to ask you some basic questions to measure any level of brain damage you might have. Okay?"

I nodded 'cause it seemed easier. I was slowly regaining feeling in every part of my body but my legs and lower back. What happened to Johnny flashed through my mind and I suddenly gripped the sheets in a tight grasp. I wanted Soda to be here. He'd understand. He always does.

"What is your full name?"

I hesitated at the words, half trying to remember how to pronounce them.

"Ponyboy…..Michael Curtis…" It seemed easier once I got them out and the doctor nodded.

"How old are you? Where do you live? What is your guardian's name?" He went on with the questions and each time I had to think for a bit before I could say them.

"This is very lucky, it appears there is no severe brain damage. Just the fact that you could think and respond is remarkable. Your body must have gone into…" He went on talking, but I'm not sure what about.

Where were my brothers? They'd explain it to me.

"Let us get some scans done, and tell that boy, uh—Johnny? to contact the family."

Johnny? Wait, no, Johnny?

"Johnny's dead. Johnny Cade…" …is dead. I saw him die.

What was going on?

The room went silent for a full few minutes. I suddenly felt scared again, like they left me here alone.

"It appears he could dream. Of course this makes catching up on reality much harder and much more shocking… Look, nurse take him to get the scans done and don't allow anybody but family in."

They were talking like I wasn't there. But I didn't understand what they meant. A dream? That couldn't have been a dream. When would I have ever lost consciousness? Or was I hurt in the church fire and Johnny recovered?

Johnny Cade and Dallas Winston are dead—I saw them both die, right?

I only wanted Sodapop, 'cause he was with me whether it was a dream or not.

0-0-0

Short chapters! But this is what I do in my free 10 minutes when I can't work on Twice the Speed of Life. If you haven't heard this already you can check my bio for notes on updating(if it matters). By the way, thanks reviewers, you peeps make my day!


	4. Ice water

What woke me up...

Chapter 3: Ice water

A/N: Someone brought up the fact about cat scans and mris not being in the 1960's. Truthfully, I suspected that too, so I was freakishly vague on the 'scans' stuff. Didn't seem to work, but I had a nice chat with an mri tech over lunch. Apparently they didn't come out until the 1980's...not enough research on my part.

Johnny's P.O.V.

I stared at the ground while the nurse came in and did something to Ponyboy's I.V.s. If not she'd meet my eyes and give me this 'I pity you' look, I was tired of it.

I was studying my shoes 'fore I heard a gasp and I glanced up. The nurse wasn't lookin' at me, she was staring at Ponyboy.

"I swear, these coma patients always look like the dead waking. Sweetheart, do me a favor and go get the doctor. And close the blinds on your way out." She told me.

I stood up and looked over at Pony knowing if this was false hope I'd die. But it wasn't, he was moving—not much but he was! Ponyboy was awake, Ponyboy was awake!

I stumbled and laughed at myself half-heartily while closing the manila colored blinds and speeding out into the hall. I came to a skidding halt nearly losing my balance again but I didn't care.

A doctor, a doctor.

A few of the nurses gave me a dirty look for rushing out like that and I chose to run up to them anyway.

"I need a doctor, Ponyboy Curtis woke up." The nurses looked as shocked as I did, but lost the look calling the doctor.

I didn't know what to do so I sat down on my usual bench and waited nervously. He woke up! I kept telling myself that in a happy voice but part of me remembered the whole brain damage speech. The dread was creeping up on me but the two balanced each other out and I sat there feeling like I was waiting longer than the six months ever was.

I was about to get up and call the Curtis' house when the door to Ponyboy's room swung open and the nurse came striding out. They wheeled Ponyboy's bed out and it vanished down the hall. I tried to catch a glimpse at him but I never got the chance 'cause the nurse walked over and kneeled next to me.

"Was that boy your brother?" She asked which seemed kinda odd.

I shook my head. "Just my best friend. Do you know anything about –"

She smiled and patted me on the knee probably forgetting she was talking to an East Side greaser 'cause most of the nurses still kept their distances. This one was a real nice lady.

"He is stable, and from what we can tell at this point there is no severe braindamage."

I was about to open my mouth to ask her to explain that. I know I'm not that bright, but people always explained it too quick for me. I didn't have to ask anything, she started talking.

"He can talk, respond and think like normal. He can't remember that night though…"

Part of me knew that was good. Pony wouldn't want to remember that, and besides, he couldn't tell the gang who did it anyway.

"We're just taking him to get some scans done. I'm sorry, but you can't see him by doctor orders. Family only until he snaps back to reality. Do you think you could contact his family for me? It'd save a lot of digging through files."

I nodded and smiled stupidly but I didn't care. Ponyboy was awake, and he was fine enough. I strode over to a courtesy phone and called the house having memorized the number.

"Talk." A very sleepy but commanding voice came on the line. I placed it at once.

"Dally, it's me Johnny." I was fiddling with the phone cord and occasionally glancing over my shoulder.

"Whatya need kid?" He sounded like he had a hangover.

"Is Sodapop or Darry there?" I did my best not to sound rude just blowing Dally off but he didn't notice.

"Nope, not home." I looked at my watch. The Curtis brothers didn't get home until five, and Soda was nearly fired when he quit going to work for that week. He only kept his job by going everyday and working longer shifts not to mention whenever the boss called him in. I knew if I called him at word he'd leave and be fired.

I hesitated not knowing what to do. Ponyboy was going for some tests and wouldn't be back for awhile.

"Uh, Dal when they get back can you tell them Ponyboy woke up?"

I heard a sputtering on the other line like Dally choking on whatever he was drinking.

"Are you serious Johnny?" He cussed too.

"Just wait till they get home." I added it.

"Does he remember who jumped you guys?" Dally asked wide awake now.

I suddenly grew cold like someone splashed me with ice water. I'm glad Dally couldn't see me or he'd know something was wrong. I remember the Soc's threat so vividly…we couldn't tell the gang who it was.

"No Dal," I tried to get my voice not to quiver. "He don't remember nothin'."

0-0-0

I really hope I didn't kill Johnny's P.O.V...I tried to give it a more relieved happy sense since Pony woke up with underline dread. I'm not sure how it worked out though, but the most of the following is in Ponyboy's P.O.V.

Chapters keep getting shorter and shorter it seems like. They won't get smaller than this one though.


	5. Dreaming up that part

What woke me up…

Chapter 4: Dreaming up that part

A/N: warning, my attempt at sap ahead. Don't worry, there isn't enough to kill.

The hospital was cold. It was the only thing I could focus on 'cause they kept rolling me from room to room and tellin' me too much stuff at once. I got my chest x-rayed for some reason about my ribs. They asked me tons of questions and the only blanket I had was thin so I couldn't listen—the hospital was really cold.

When they brought me back into the room I was awful tired, dead tired. I don't think I could have kept my eyes open if I tried, but I was spooked too. I've never been this exhausted in my life. What if I went to sleep and didn't wake up again?

When the nurse woke me up the room was still dark. She was walking around the room doing something but I didn't have the strength to sit up and look at her so I kept my eyes closed. It was raining outside. It seemed just like that rain on the night of the rumble. They both seemed _real_. Glory, they said that whole rumble was a dream. Johnny's death was a dream, but I'd never remembered anything more vividly in my life. I went to sleep next to Sodapop, maybe this was a dream… I wasn't even sure which was up anymore. My arm was sore but I managed to bring it up to my cheeks surprised to find I was crying.

The nurse shot me a quick glance but didn't say anything. I'm glad, I didn't want to talk to her anyway. I closed my eyes and tried to stop thinking. It worked for a few blissful minutes. I even imagined I heard Sodapop's voice.

"Hey Ponyboy, honey are you awake? Ponyboy…"

My eyes slowly opened, and I felt someone grasp my arm almost uncertainly. I looked over and had to smile.

"Sodapop?"

My older brother was hovering at the side of my bed resting his hands on my arm. 'Course tears were running down his face and he looked fairly sleep deprived but he was smiling.

"Hey kid. Welcome back." He let out a sob and turned away for a second. I reached my arms out and Soda enclosed me in a fragile but comforting hug. He was careful not to touch any of the tubes hooked up and I did my best to hug him. My arms wouldn't obey my mind though, and they were so weak I could hardly hug back. Soda probably noticed but he didn't say anything. He always understood.

Soda pulled away and the warmth that had been there vanished leaving the cold hospital again.

He sat down in a chair by my bed and didn't let go of my arm. He wasn't looking at me anymore, but staring across the room. I was about to ask but I followed his eyes. Darry was leaning against the door, eyes cast down, fists jammed into his pocket.

Six months, I thought an idea dawning on me, he had hit me. That is why I ran out of the house. The idea slowly sunk in and I wasn't sure what to do. Maybe Darry still did care, it wasn't only the dream. He always did care where I was, and when I didn't get home on time.

"Hi Dar." I reached my arms out and wordlessly Darry walked over and hugged me tighter than Soda, and my ribs kinda hurt but I felt safe in his arms.

"Oh God Pony," I could feel him shaking, "I thought you'd never wake up. I'm sorry kid, I didn't mean—" He pulled away and I could see he was crying.

Like that night after the fire—in my dream? Glory I was confused.

"What happened?" I asked to either of them. Darry went quiet watching me, but I could see the pain flash in his eyes.

"I'm going to talk to the doctor now Pony."

I reached out to touch his arm to get his attention before he left. "Can you see if you can get me out?"

Darry gave me a quick smirk before vanishing from the door. I closed my eyes for a minute. I felt real tired, but I didn't want to worry Soda. Golly, he probably has been worryin' something awful for the last six months.

"Soda." I said and he was looking back at me, his eyes full. I did my best to wipe the stray tears away. "I'm suppose to be crying more than you are."

He grinned at me but then caught my hand between his own and kissed it—something Mom used to do.

"Pony, they told us you probably wouldn't wake up again. I nearly went nuts when you lost consciousness in the park like that. We'd thought we'd lost you." I closed my eyes for a minute trying to fight off exhaustion.

I didn't want to go to sleep…

"I was so afraid…Aw kid."

"I'm fine." I said automatically smiling a bit when I heard him laugh.

"Sure…how ya feelin'?"

"Uhm…." I thought it over. I was confused, but Soda being here helped a lot. I was tired but too scared to go to sleep. "I can't feel nothin' below the middle of my back."

I tried to get rid of the thoughts of Johnny. It was a dream…a dream… I'd hoped it was a dream, but…

"You're gonna be okay Pone." He said trying to convince himself too.

His grip tighten around my hand and I tried not to drift off. "Need anything?"

I shoulda asked for a blanket but I couldn't think straight. I just shook my head 'cause it was the easier thing to do. Soda went quiet, rubbing my hand gently trying to put some warmth back in it.

"What happened Soda, before this?" I asked after a few minutes.

I figured if I could find out when I was knocked unconscious I could figure out what part of what was a dream.

"You were out with Johnny, baby, and got jumped by some guys. They hit Johnny so he don't remember much either, don't know who it was, we think it was Soc's but…" His voice was quiet—or maybe it was just me falling asleep. "They dunked you in the fountain. You don't remember?" His voice was worry, something I didn't hear to often from him.

I remembered Johnny and I getting jumped by some Socs but Johnny knew who they were before they even pulled up. The blue mustang and the guy with the rings. They couldn't have hit Johnny hard enough for him to forget that right? Or did I make up that part? I couldn't have though, I didn't lose consciousness before that.

"You know what a greaser is? White trash with long hair."

"You could use a bath, greaser. And a good working over. And we've got all night to do it."

If Johnny didn't know who did it then maybe I dreamed up that part. But it seemed real—everything seemed real.

Glory, confused doesn't much cover it.

I wanted to ask Soda that if I went to sleep, would I wake up again?... but I never got the chance because I drifted off before I could even answer him.

0-0-0-0

And so an update. Yeah, I expected to finish Twice the Speed of life chapter long before this but go figure.

Reviewers. Few questions you could answer that'd help me.

Am I completely utterly killing the character with OOC ness?

With all the confusion with Pony, is it hard to read?

Do you like the fact it's in Pony and Johnny's p.o.v.s?

Does the sap bite? I'm not real good at brotherly love fluff…

Thanks.


	6. Things would get better

What woke me up…

Chapter Five: Things would get better

A/N: Okay, I am determined to finish this fic(the chapters will come out pretty quickly). If I put it off I'll never do it…anyway I had this story plotted out before I started it. I'm going to do my best on future sap(not enough to kill, never enough to kill) but you must understand—the closest brother I have would take six months to realize I'm dead. So I'm just winging it. But I have great plans with the Socs yet.

I sat down and waited after the call to Dally. Hours must have passed 'cause one of the nurses told me to go home and get some sleep. I'd probably get a beating if I went home anyway so I stayed.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the chair. I was happy that Pony was awake, but the shock kinda faded. Now I was just brooding on how he'd hate me. The hospital was as quiet as it ever was. That was until the door was thrown open.

I glanced up cursing myself for flinching at the loud noise.

"Johnny, is it true?" Sodapop was next to me so quick I didn't have time to blink.

He looked flushed and I gave him nod. Darry came in a minute later followed by Two-Bit, Steve, and Dally. The whole gang was here. I looked back up at Soda who was waiting for Darry anxiously. This was his little brother we were talking about. I glanced at the rest of the gang. Two-Bit was holding on the counter to stay up, probably from trying to keep up with the Curtis'. Steve was posted against the wall, watching unamused. Pony had once told me Steve hated him, and that they only put up with each other for Soda's sake.

Where that was probably true, Pony didn't understand Steve would stick up for him no matter what 'cause he was part of the gang.

I meet Dally's eyes and froze. He was leering at me like he was trying to pry into my soul. I kept my eyes vacant. I learned that from my parents.

Finally Darry called Soda's name and we all looked toward them. Next to Darry was that doctor. He repeated the strict orders he gave me, family only. Two-Bit protested but Darry shook his head. They soon disappeared into Ponyboy's room and I let my head drop again to stare at my lap.

Two-Bit went on cussing good-naturally about not being let in but sprawled out on the seat next to me. Steve hung around for awhile before going out for a smoke and Dally leaned against the wall.

I think he noticed something, about the way my story didn't make too much sense and all. Dal ain't dumb, he picks up on stuff. But he never said anything.

"You feelin' all right kid?" Dal asked looking indifferent.

I nodded again hoping my face wasn't going pale. But I couldn't help thinkin' 'bout what happened that night. Ponyboy could probably hate me—I was too damn scared to help him. Not to mention those Socs, I couldn't help but be jumpier than usual when they were brought up.

I was afraid the gang would find out, or Pony would remember and tell them before I could talk to him.

Two-Bit gave me one of his beers he had hidden in his leather jacket to 'calm my nerves' and went on talking about the Dingo or something.

A few minutes later Darry came out and sent us a half-hearted grin. He stopped the doctor who was just about to head down the hall. They started talking to low voices and the doctor shoved Darry a bunch of papers. The oldest Curtis came back up and kicked Two-Bit out of the chair.

"So what'd the doc have to say?" Two-Bit said from his place on the ground where he was too lazy to stand up from.

"No severe brain damage." He said calmly as ever and everyone that didn't know him would have bought. "But he is confused as hell. Concussion too. Doctor still says no family so I can give you guys a ride home if you want…no use in waiting for us."

Darry was good at hiding his emotions, I couldn't pin what he was feeling.

"Shoot, don't the kid remember who jumped 'em? Start a rumble tonight once we hunt them down." Two-Bit asked disregarding what Darry said.

"He doesn't remember anything. Besides, a rumble isn't what we need right now. We'll get them back, but once the we get the state off our back." Darry said straightening out the papers in his hands.

Two-Bit went on to show how they'd crush in the guy's skulls that did this and when Dally stood up all the way, I did too.

"Johnny, where you headin' tonight?" Darry asked me after Two-Bit had stopped his rant to whistle at a blonde nurse.

I was about to say home 'cause I didn't want to intrude on the Curtis' house anymore—Dal, and Steve gave me strict orders that I wasn't suppose to sleep outside or in the lot anymore. After what happened to Ponyboy everyone figured I was gonna get jumped again. They couldn't really stop me but I hate it when the gang is mad at me.

"He's headin' over to the Dingo with me. Buck's gonna give us some rooms over there." Dallas said leaving no room for argument.

"I think I'll head over there too. Tell us if anything happens with the kid." Two-Bit said.

The three of us headed off to grab Steve and catch a bus. I pushed the bad feelings down. Ponyboy was awake. Things would get better.

0-0

This chapter served as a _gap filler_ honestly. I didn't want to have it jump too much by only using Ponyboy's pov. Besides, I wanted to stick one more update in there before I'm off again to my sister's house today.(Yah, 102 weather in a car that has no air conditioning. Whoo! Sorry, had to rant.)


	7. Alone

What woke me up…

Chapter Six: Alone

I was scared.

How un-tough does that sound? Not many greasers would ever admit to being scared but I was. It wasn't only because I was being wheeled around from stranger to stranger. It was 'cause some type of doctor called a P.T. told me I'd never be able to walk again without rehabilitation. The worst feeling I've ever had in my life was going to stand up like every other day and feeling my legs give out from under me. Then every stupid rehab activity they had me do hurt like all get out. I was also scared at how tired I got how quick. I'd barely been out of bed for half an hour and I thought I'd collapse. The P.T.'s said this was normal though. But I couldn't help it. I was alone in the hospital room, tired but not sleepy. I stared at the ceiling thinking about home.

When I woke up earlier Sodapop and Darry had gone. I guess they had work…and all the bills I must have piled up I didn't blame them. Ifelt sorryabout that too.I just wished either of them would get here soon. My overactive imagination was acting up, and I was beginning to worry neither of them would ever come back, or I'd never be able to walk again. Or they'd lock me up in some nut house 'cause I was certain Johnny died.

The room was awful quiet and I didn't have anything to do but think. I thought about the 'dream' mostly.

About Johnny

"_Useless…fighting's no good…_ "

About Dally

"_You'd better wise up, Pony…you get tough like me and nothin' can touch you…_"

About Cherry

"_Things are rough all over._"

I wondered if things would be the same as I pictured them. Or if that was just what I wanted to hear or something. The things 'bout Dar and Dally were true, I just didn't think it out before but everyone else…?

The door opened and shut and I closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear static from the nurse for not sleepin'. But it was quiet still, and before I went to open my eyes I heard a voice.

"Hey Ponyboy… I know they said family only, but I really need to talk to you man…"

I kept my eyes shut. Johnny, it was Johnny. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be…

"'Bout that night…I coulda done something—I should have…" His voice was real quiet and he sounded upset.

Johnny never got the chance to kill that Soc, Bob. He never got a chance and I still didn't die. We never had to run away, we didn't have to run in to save those kids. Johnny didn't have to die, and Dally didn't have to get himself killed.

"I'm glad you didn't Johnny."

"Pony…" Johnny said going quiet.

I still didn't open my eyes. I was so certain I'd never see Johnny again—so certain.

"You remember?" I could hear him move across the room.

"Not really. I thought I did, but everyone's telling me something different. What happened?" I opened my eyes to look at him. It really was Johnny. Small, puppy dog, scared old Johnny. I cracked a smile which seemed odd even to me.

Johnny just stared at me like I'd gone insane. Maybe I did…but I'd wished so many times it was me and not Johnny that died in that fire. I lead him in, I made him run away with me.

"We got jumped, and they tried to drown you…I could have done something to help…" Johnny's voice was breaking.

"Who was 'they'?" That's all I wanted to know. That's what got me the most…

"Pony, the thing with that is…"

"You don't remember." I'd wish I let him finish talking, but if Johnny didn't know I'd never find out.

I looked over at him. He was awful pale. Something seemed wrong.

"Yeah," He nodded carefully avoiding my eyes. "I don't remember."

I was about to ask something but the door flew open. Johnny jumped. The doctor just stood at the door and raised his eyebrows. Without a word Johnny fled the room, and I watched him wishing he didn't have to leave.

I hated being alone.

"Mr. Curtis, how are you feeling today?"

"What can I say that would get me out?" I said in the voice I reserved for strangers 'course I couldn't look very intimidating.

He tapped his clipboard once.

"I still have to speak to your legal guardian but there is a good chance you can get out tonight. You'll be confined to bed with a reasonably strict diet, and still have to go to rehab three times a week. Do you feel up to it?"

Golly, of course I'd be up to it. I hated hospitals to begin with, anything would be better than this. "I just need approval from Mss. Cussler, the social worker that has been assigned to your case, and you'll be on your way."

"Social worker?" I'd forgotten about them. Great, just the thing to make me feel better.

"Yes, but I do not think she is removing you from your guardian's custody yet. You're quite famous around here. You're lucky, no one expected you to wake up. Ah, yes, I must be going now."

He left me alone again and I wanted to curse outloud. But I didn't. I was worried now. About the social worker for one, but I knew Darry would fight for custody of us. But I was beginning to be bothered by Johnny. I usually didn't pick up on a lot of stuff that went on. I never paid much attention between studying and daydreaming. But something was bugging Johnny something awful.

I fell asleep trying to figure it out.

0-0-0

There has got to be grammar mistakes in that. I just know it… anyway, if there is anyone left out there reading this(or if I'm talking to myself) I have the end plotted out and there will be confrontation with the Socs and a fight and all that good stuff. Don't think this is just a recovery fic basically. Review.


	8. Different

What woke me up…

Chapter seven: Different

I woke up later in the day I guess. I wasn't sure when, it was always dim in the room. My reactions went slowly and I felt kinda prickly numb.

Someone was next to me. Any relief about not being alone faded.

"Hello, Ponyboy. My name is Mss. Cussler, I'm the social worker assigned to your case."

I tried not to look as sick as I felt but couldn't. The woman gave me a fake grin and indicated the smaller lady next to her. "This is Jane Orchard, she is a therapist that'd like to help you sort things out."

Jane nodded at me and my words froze on me. They couldn't take me away from Darry and Soda. I wouldn't go. I ain't crazy or nothing and there isn't anything Darry could have done more than any other parent.

Dallas once told Johnny and I that if you can't say anything that doesn't make you look bad then just don't say anything. He was referring to being picked up by the fuzz, but I guess it would work. I didn't say much anything when they started firing questions to me. About Darry, and that night. About the kinda people I hang out with, and where would I like to go if I had a choice. If it wasn't a yes or a no it wasn't over a sentence.

Eventually Mss. Cussler got as frustrated as I was.

"Do you have any idea how drastically significant this situation is? You nearly died! And all you care about is not being taken away from your brothers. You may not know it Mr. Curtis, but I'm trying to help you. A good home will be a positive change for you."

Why couldn't they go help people like Johnny that actually needed it? Why wouldn't they ever leave Darry, Soda, and I alone?

"Perhaps an immediate change in home life isn't the best thing for a circumstance like this Mss. Cussler." Jane Orchard chimed in from the back. Mss. Cussler nodded barely keeping a scowl off her face. Did she actually expect me to be happy being sent to a boys' home?

"We will have this arranged before the month is up, I can assure you." She said standing up and heading out.

I shut my eyes feeling real tired. I know that therapist was still in the room but I didn't want to hear it from her too. She didn't say anything for awhile.

"I know you don't want to leave… Ponyboy is the name?"

"I don't. It ain't fair, Darry is just a good guardian as my dad was." It wasn't fair but so likely now—that bugged me something awful.

"Listen, I know how you feel. I was taken away from my mom when I was a kid too. I honestly want to help you, Ponyboy. Take my card and call me if you ever need anything."

I looked over at her and took the small white card she was holding out. She looked real sincere. I could have told her about the dream, but I didn't say anything. I didn't know where it ended, or where it started. Besides, she didn't know nothing about the east and west side wars or anything about me. If anyone could help me I'd reckon it'd be Soda or Johnny. Jane stood up suddenly and I looked over. Darry stood in the doorway with a nurse barely visible behind him. "You must be Ponyboy's guardian," She looked down at a pad, "Darrel Curtis?"

Darry nodded and shook her hand. She left after that, and the nurse 'prepped me for discharge'. It took about half an hour, and I finally got changed into something half decent. I didn't talk much, 'specially 'cause they stabbed me with a few needles. I hated needles, had a phobia of them but I didn't dare show that in front of Darry.

"Soda doesn't know your coming home today." Darry 'helped' me into the car, literally half carrying me. He was real careful with me, like I'd break or something.

I didn't say anything most of the ride home. I closed my eyes, thinking. I was happy to go home, to see Soda and the gang again—to see Johnny and Dally alive again. But everything would be different. I may not get to stay home, and I don't even know what Darry could do about this. Even Superman had his weakness.

Besides, I had six months of school I couldn't possibly make up…

"Ponyboy?" I blinked, snapping out of my trance. Darry had been calling my name for a few seconds. "Are you okay kid?" He looked genuinely worried.

"I'm fine, tired." It wasn't a lie, I was really tired. It seemed like I always was recently.

"You don't remember anything from that night?"

Not him too. Everyone's been asking me that, and I've been asking everyone the same thing. Can't get a straight answer.

I looked out the window, the house was dark. Usually someone was home. Darry followed my gaze. "Soda has the late shift tonight, and the rest of the gang should be over at the Dingo or Buck's place." Darry wanted to ask something, but wasn't sure how to act around me.

I still wasn't sure how to act around him, and I didn't want him to ask me anymore questions. I remembered this house so vividly when I walked in after Johnny died. Everyone was quiet then too.

But Johnny didn't die, I reminded myself, instead, it was almost you.

0-0-0

Eek, I wanted to find a better way to end that chapter but I'm in a rush. Really, and plus I changed the rating back to T so goodbye cussing. I know these seem like filler chapters, partly because they are. There will be a climax with socs action and all that jazz.

Review!


	9. Expressions

This is the chapter stuff finally starts happening, after this small segment to prove I haven't forgotten about the story.

-

I ended up on the couch after I complained to Darry. It was fine, he probably wanted to keep an eye on me anyway. The room didn't seem different, except a lot cleaner. The only time Sodapop ever cleans was either when Darry was hollerin' at him, or he wanted to keep his mind off things…the house was pretty spotless.

I closed my eyes for a little while. Dar was being awful quiet, prolly didn't want to wake me up. 'Course at fiveish tires braking woke me up anyway. Soda bounded into the room with more than the usual spring.

He looked at me, then back at Darry.

"Hey Ponyboy, out and about I see!" He made a running start toward me but Darry caught him.

"No rough stuff little buddy." Soda made a hurt face but settled for sitting next to me on the only part of the couch I wasn't hogging.

"How ya feelin' kid?" He placed a hand on my head for a second and pulled it away kinda quickly settling for tossing an arm over my shoulder. Soda made to fill me in on everything for the last six months while Darry cooked dinner and kept looking over at the both of us.

Before long(the smell of food I bet) Two-Bit and Dally showed up, shortly followed by Johnny and Steve. Two-Bit made a few smart comments to welcome me back and even Dally seemed to care. I'd already talked to Johnny, and Steve didn't bother to say a thing to me. Old habits die hard.

The lot of us spent the rest of the night sprawled out in front of the t.v., until Darry kicked everyone out 'cause he had work the next day. Everything seemed like nothing had happened and I kinda appreciated it.

I woke up the next morning to Soda and Darry talking.

"Aw, come on let me stay home today Dar!"

"Soda, you know we need the money."

"But he can't be alone—"

"Johnny is staying here. Come on Soda, what would Pony say if we lost our jobs because of this! I want to stay home too but you know we can't do that."

I heard Soda sigh and start walking toward our room so I closed my eyes and acted like I was asleep. He 'woke' me up a bit later and told me what was going on.

"You sure you don't want me to stay home?" He asked half out the door.

Soda wanted to stay far more than me. "Fine, but if you need anything you know my work number."

When he finally left Johnny, Dally, and Two-bit came by. The guys acted the same as always, 'cept Johnny kept glancing over at me. There wasn't much to do around the house and about noon Two-Bit announced he was taking us all out to lunch.

"Shit, Mattews, you know Darry's gonna kill you."

Two-Bit grinned like a maniac. "Shoot, we'll have the kid home 'fore he even gets back from work. Come on Dal, you can't say nothing either—drivin' his car drunk and all." Dally flipped him the bird but grabbed me by the arm and kinda pulled me up. Between and Johnny I ended up sitting in the back of Two-Bit's car and holding onto the side while he cruised down the road. We pulled into a local Dairy Queen and came to a halt.

"What'do ya'll want? I'll go in to get the order?"

Johnny listed off some stuff and I said the same. There was some fight going a few cars down. We all looked over with semi-interest, only 'cause it was just a soc fight. They jumped each other just for fun.

One of the guys came into view and I recognized it.

Bob was dead… No…and he couldn't have been there the night we got jumped right?

I was staring off for a minute trying to figure out my thoughts before I looked off at Johnny. There was something about his expression—he was waiting for something from me. I'd realized it after a minute, Johnny remembered, he had to.

-

Short, yeah, but I needed to update. The hurricane knocked out my power, then I got called into work and am having test after test screams yeah, but next chapter things start happening.

I'll admit this one was a little scratchy but I didn't have time to find an appropriate way with the time jump.


End file.
